November 1, 2012
My last few blogs have been boring and short, sweet and to the point. This is because I didn't get them posted when the runs occurred and I had forgotten details. I'm sort of chronologically OCD and couldn't skip them so I just posted the basics and what I could remember of each run so I could have them sort of to follow myself chronologically. There are a couple that I don't even remember the date so they weren't dated (which, incidentally bugs the crap out of me but there's nothing I can do about it so I just have to live with it). Anyway, the reason I haven't been posting and I've not even been running or training or even thinking about running and/or training is because in the past month my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Breast cancer has always been a cause that I have always felt particularly strong about but a few years ago my Aunt Bonnie, my mother's younger sister, was diagnosed and it became a much more important cause to me. In June, I ran my first 5k and it was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis, MO. I have never seen so many people affected by one thing in my whole life as I saw that day. So many women had someone's name on their back.....many had more than one. One family had three women's names on their back all "In Memory Of;" all three women listed had lost their lives to breast cancer. I was so grateful that sign on my back said "In Celebration Of Aunt Bonnie" instead of "In Memory Of" and my heart went out to all those who weren't fortunate enough to have "In Celebration Of."
Even now as I write I am overwhelmed with the emotion of the race and the women who were there but most of all the women in the Survivors Procession which was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. Thousands of women waving their arms in victory and if there was one person there who wasn't moved I would be surprised. But most of all I am overwhelmed with emotion over the past month because all of sudden it was MY mother and it was MY family that has been affected by this disease. Now it is us who is going to the doctor and looking on the internet for answers to questions that we didn't even know how to ask.....the first being "Is my mother going to die?" I am 42 years old; my mother is 72 and I have accepted that as I get older my mother's life expectancy gets shorter. I have accepted that one day my mother will indeed die. We even joke about. We walk through her house and she asks me about what I want from her collections of pretty things and her china and her teapots and such so she can let her husband know what is to be mine and what goes to my sister when she dies. We tease about what she doesn't want at her funeral but at the same time these discussions hold a note of seriousness. These are things that need to be discussed and decided so no one has to make decisions when the time comes. No one wants to make those kinds of decisions when they are overwrought with grief. I have these discussions myself with my husband ("If something happens to me, I want you to make sure that _________________"). But for the first time in my life this reality has become a real reality. It was so close that if I could reach out and touch it I could have touched it; if you understand what I mean. I don't like the way that feels. I can accept the fact that my mother is going to die but until it happens I don't want to think about it and all of sudden I had to think about it. It was terrifying and unsettling. My life seemed to stop in my head for a whole two weeks while we were waiting to find out if she indeed had breast cancer and after we found out while we waited to see the doctor about options.
I went to the doctor with my mother and her husband. I knew the doctor we were going to see. I had seen her when I had problems with my first mammogram. She is very kind and reassuring. And she knows what she is talking about (as I hope she would since she is the expert on boobies here!) One of the first things she told us was that my mother is NOT going to die of this breast cancer. I had been putting on a brave front and told my children, my husband and my sister as well as anyone else who knew that I was not going to worry until the doctor told me too and while this was true to an extent, it is hard to follow up with it by actually believing it fully myself. So when the doctor told us this I was much more relaxed. My mother's cancer had been caught soon enough and it is very responsive to treatment. As I type this, my mother is currently at home....well, I can't say that for sure. She might be out running errands because when I talked to her this morning she was curling her hair and I'm not sure if she does that if she is just going to hang around the house or if she does it every day regardless of her daily plans. She does like to be a well put together woman so I wouldn't be surprised if she was doing it just because it's what she does....but I digress, my mother is doing fine right now. She had a lumpectomy on Tuesday along with a little bit of reconstructive surgery. They took the infected tissue out as well as some lymph nodes for testing. They want to be sure her lymph nodes do not have cancer. If they do, then her treatment plan will have to be revised. We do not expect the lymph nodes to be cancerous. This is the power of positive thinking but also due to the fact that the cancer was caught so soon. Because of the tissue that was removed, things needed to be adjusted a little so my mother's chest wouldn't look funny, thus the reconstructive surgery; it just involved moving a little tissue around. When my mother has healed from the surgery, she will begin radiation treatment five days a week for I think six weeks. After that she will take an oral hormone for five years and as long as the cancer doesn't come back (my aunt's has not come back and it's been four or five years) Mom will be fine. Prognosis is excellent and we are on the right track but this bump in the road has me thinking a lot about life and many things.
I put my life on hold and I got stalled for a very long time. Now that treatment has begun it is much easier for me to get back to my life and the way things were. This is why I haven't been running despite my running friends telling me that I needed to get out there and get to it since running is exercise and exercise is stress relief and I love running so much. I must remember to take care of myself and my children despite the stresses of life, even if one of those stresses is the potential death of my own mother. I was blessed this time. My mother will continue her life and I am happy for that. But there is going to be a time when I won't be so blessed. My mother will die and so will my father. It's a part of life and I thought I was prepared for it, but I'm not. I guess I need to work on being more like my husband. He believes that we need to enjoy people while they are here and in our lives because one day those people are not going to be in our lives whether it be through distance or death or whatever. He believes that we shouldn't be sad when we lose those we love; we should appreciate the time we had with them. I need to learn to be more like that in some ways.
KEA
Thursday, November 1, 2012
CES Wildcats, Go Team Go!
October 6, 2012
I made a trip up to my hometown specifically to run this 5k. I attended CES which now goes by another name from my first grade year all the way to graduate from 8th grade (with the exception of my 7th grade year which I attended at another school in another town.) I am very proud to say that I was a CES Wildcat and I was very pleased to run in this 5k to represent my old grade school/junior high. I have many wonderful memories of going to school there. One of my eighth grade teachers still teaches there and I am glad to say I have her as a friend on my Facebook as well. :-) She teaches history and she is how I found out about this race. I immediately signed up and began training (sort of.....)
So....my youngest daughter and I made the three hour drive and planned on staying the whole weekend. I was super excited about this trip because not only did I get to run a 5k, I got to spend time with my besties. It's hard to live so far away from your best friends and I cherish every weekend I get to spend with them! We got there on Friday evening. I had to go to the school to pick up my race packet so while we were there, my daughter and I toured the school. The school that we toured was not the school I went to. In the many years (we won't say just how many) that have passed since I graduated eighth grade the school/church has moved and expanded. It's funny how even though this is not the building I attended in it was just like going back to the old school. The building had the same feel to it and the memories of my grade school years came flooding back. It was amazing and my daughter told me she wished she could go there. I wish she could too! After we left the school we went to one of my best friends' house where we would be staying for the weekend. We had a wonderful visit and we went out to eat where I made my second mistake. We went to the Longhorn Steakhouse....I think that's where we went. We had the homemade potato chips, oh so good! I had a salad and the bread (but not too much)....YUM YUM YUM!!! Then I had steak that was stuffed with cheese. Oh, it was all so good! I tried not to eat too much but I'm afraid I probably did (second mistake, first being I just didn't train hard enough). We then went back and talked for a while then went to bed since we had to get up early the next day for racing day!
My best friend and my other best friend's mother went to the race with us. It was super cold!!!! It was about 39 degrees!!!! COLD COLD COLD!!! This was the first opportunity I have had to try out my new cold weather running gear. I had bought a pair of full legged, warm running pants and a long sleeved top and had yet to try them out. This was the first opportunity I had and I was very pleased with them. While it was very cold out, I stayed warm with a jacket. I only wished I had warmer socks and that I had remembered to bring gloves and I wished I had a headband to cover my ears....oh, and I wished I had more tissues in my pocket! By the time I was done with the race, the one that I carried was full of holes and well, just plain used up!
So at the start of the race I was cold. We ran across the parking lot of the church through the grass and into a wooded area on a trail that was covered in wood chips. I would like to express now that I do NOT like to run on wood chips. They feel unstable and I felt like I was being careful so as not to trip over a tree root or something unexpected. While we were only on the wood chips a very short time I felt like it cut into my time. We next hit a concrete surface and my body and mind were very happy to be back on familiar (and stable) territory. I ran with a woman my age for a bit and we hit a wooden bridge. It was icy and I slipped and decided it was safest just to walk very fast and hold onto the railing. I did this for two bridges, more time lost. I pulled ahead of the lady I was running with after the bridges and rounded the half way point. By this time I was running with a twenty-something and we chatted for a bit as we were running along. This was her first 5k and she was afraid she had made a mistake in signing up for it. I assured her she was doing fine, especially when she ran on ahead and finished quite a bit ahead of me! The going got harder and I was back on the bridges again.....more lost time again as I didn't want to fall and bust my booty; I'm not as young as I used to be and while I can endure the embarrassment of falling, I'm not sure my body would be so happy at me falling, especially when it was so cold! I was also wearing out and I can't remember wanting to be done so bad! This made me sad because I had been looking forward to running this race for so long! I guess I should've been training harder and I should've been running out in the cold so I would be better prepared. Although, in my defense, this was the first time it had been this cold in a while. I was very tempted to do some walking but again, this feels like defeat to me and I kept it going even if it was more of a walk with a bounce. I came into the home stretch and I will confess, I wanted to do a full sprint home, but 1) the grass was wet and slippery and 2) I just couldn't get my body to respond to my brain's commands. How disappointing. :-(
Here are the details: I ran 3.13 miles and according to my Garmin my time was 33:28. According to the chip on my shoe my time was 33:08.....who's for going with the chip's time? Yes, yes, I think we will. LOL! My overall pace was 10:42 and it was super cold....39 degrees (that's in Fairenheit for those that it matters) and for the first mile I couldn't feel my feet! I placed 24th out of 65 and came in second for my age group....GO ME!!! My second post on the dailymile.com says that the race posted my time at 33:15 while my chip had me at 33:09 and my Garmin timed me at 33:20 something. I'm not unhappy with any of those times so we will just post them all and be content.
Overall, I'm disappointed in myself as I felt awful throughout the whole run. It was painful and even though I say I'm content with the time I felt I could have done better. My goal is to do a 5k in under 30 minutes so I better get to training because I just don't know when the next one will be!
Happy Running!
KEA
I made a trip up to my hometown specifically to run this 5k. I attended CES which now goes by another name from my first grade year all the way to graduate from 8th grade (with the exception of my 7th grade year which I attended at another school in another town.) I am very proud to say that I was a CES Wildcat and I was very pleased to run in this 5k to represent my old grade school/junior high. I have many wonderful memories of going to school there. One of my eighth grade teachers still teaches there and I am glad to say I have her as a friend on my Facebook as well. :-) She teaches history and she is how I found out about this race. I immediately signed up and began training (sort of.....)
So....my youngest daughter and I made the three hour drive and planned on staying the whole weekend. I was super excited about this trip because not only did I get to run a 5k, I got to spend time with my besties. It's hard to live so far away from your best friends and I cherish every weekend I get to spend with them! We got there on Friday evening. I had to go to the school to pick up my race packet so while we were there, my daughter and I toured the school. The school that we toured was not the school I went to. In the many years (we won't say just how many) that have passed since I graduated eighth grade the school/church has moved and expanded. It's funny how even though this is not the building I attended in it was just like going back to the old school. The building had the same feel to it and the memories of my grade school years came flooding back. It was amazing and my daughter told me she wished she could go there. I wish she could too! After we left the school we went to one of my best friends' house where we would be staying for the weekend. We had a wonderful visit and we went out to eat where I made my second mistake. We went to the Longhorn Steakhouse....I think that's where we went. We had the homemade potato chips, oh so good! I had a salad and the bread (but not too much)....YUM YUM YUM!!! Then I had steak that was stuffed with cheese. Oh, it was all so good! I tried not to eat too much but I'm afraid I probably did (second mistake, first being I just didn't train hard enough). We then went back and talked for a while then went to bed since we had to get up early the next day for racing day!
My best friend and my other best friend's mother went to the race with us. It was super cold!!!! It was about 39 degrees!!!! COLD COLD COLD!!! This was the first opportunity I have had to try out my new cold weather running gear. I had bought a pair of full legged, warm running pants and a long sleeved top and had yet to try them out. This was the first opportunity I had and I was very pleased with them. While it was very cold out, I stayed warm with a jacket. I only wished I had warmer socks and that I had remembered to bring gloves and I wished I had a headband to cover my ears....oh, and I wished I had more tissues in my pocket! By the time I was done with the race, the one that I carried was full of holes and well, just plain used up!
So at the start of the race I was cold. We ran across the parking lot of the church through the grass and into a wooded area on a trail that was covered in wood chips. I would like to express now that I do NOT like to run on wood chips. They feel unstable and I felt like I was being careful so as not to trip over a tree root or something unexpected. While we were only on the wood chips a very short time I felt like it cut into my time. We next hit a concrete surface and my body and mind were very happy to be back on familiar (and stable) territory. I ran with a woman my age for a bit and we hit a wooden bridge. It was icy and I slipped and decided it was safest just to walk very fast and hold onto the railing. I did this for two bridges, more time lost. I pulled ahead of the lady I was running with after the bridges and rounded the half way point. By this time I was running with a twenty-something and we chatted for a bit as we were running along. This was her first 5k and she was afraid she had made a mistake in signing up for it. I assured her she was doing fine, especially when she ran on ahead and finished quite a bit ahead of me! The going got harder and I was back on the bridges again.....more lost time again as I didn't want to fall and bust my booty; I'm not as young as I used to be and while I can endure the embarrassment of falling, I'm not sure my body would be so happy at me falling, especially when it was so cold! I was also wearing out and I can't remember wanting to be done so bad! This made me sad because I had been looking forward to running this race for so long! I guess I should've been training harder and I should've been running out in the cold so I would be better prepared. Although, in my defense, this was the first time it had been this cold in a while. I was very tempted to do some walking but again, this feels like defeat to me and I kept it going even if it was more of a walk with a bounce. I came into the home stretch and I will confess, I wanted to do a full sprint home, but 1) the grass was wet and slippery and 2) I just couldn't get my body to respond to my brain's commands. How disappointing. :-(
Here are the details: I ran 3.13 miles and according to my Garmin my time was 33:28. According to the chip on my shoe my time was 33:08.....who's for going with the chip's time? Yes, yes, I think we will. LOL! My overall pace was 10:42 and it was super cold....39 degrees (that's in Fairenheit for those that it matters) and for the first mile I couldn't feel my feet! I placed 24th out of 65 and came in second for my age group....GO ME!!! My second post on the dailymile.com says that the race posted my time at 33:15 while my chip had me at 33:09 and my Garmin timed me at 33:20 something. I'm not unhappy with any of those times so we will just post them all and be content.
Overall, I'm disappointed in myself as I felt awful throughout the whole run. It was painful and even though I say I'm content with the time I felt I could have done better. My goal is to do a 5k in under 30 minutes so I better get to training because I just don't know when the next one will be!
Happy Running!
KEA
DOH!!!!
Okay....so today I did a super stupid thing. While cleaning the bathroom I put bleach in the toilet because it was REALLY nasty. Then I wasn't think about the consequences and later added toilet bowl cleaner to the bleach. It created intense fumes and I had to go outside. Thought I was going to throw up for a while but I didn't. I didn't feel well all afternoon but when it was time for cheer leading practice I knew I had to get out there and get a run in because I had a race coming up on Saturday. Did I mention I signed up for another 5k? Oh, I did. This time it is for my old grade school in my hometown. I am super stoked about it so I needed to get some practice in.
So, I laced on my running shoes and headed out. This run was really hard. I was having trouble with my breathing due to the toilet bowl incident. My stomach was still feeling upset and my nose was burning. I had to walk a lot through this run. I think it was because of the toilet bowl incident but it might also have something to do with the fact that I've been neglecting my running. This is not a good thing since I've got that upcoming 5k. I'm a little worried.
I will keep this one short and sweet since there's nothing really to share about it other than the fact that I was feeling pretty awful. Mental note: NEVER mix bleach and toilet bowl cleaner again. As I type I'm feeling nauseated just thinking about it! Anyway, here's the details: I ran 3.23 miles and it took me 35 minutes. My average pace was 10:44.
I'm not terribly pleased with this run for obvious reasons. I wasn't feeling good; I've got a race coming up and I like to have a better time. But all in all I'm glad I got out there despite feeling like poop.
Happy Running!
KEA
So, I laced on my running shoes and headed out. This run was really hard. I was having trouble with my breathing due to the toilet bowl incident. My stomach was still feeling upset and my nose was burning. I had to walk a lot through this run. I think it was because of the toilet bowl incident but it might also have something to do with the fact that I've been neglecting my running. This is not a good thing since I've got that upcoming 5k. I'm a little worried.
I will keep this one short and sweet since there's nothing really to share about it other than the fact that I was feeling pretty awful. Mental note: NEVER mix bleach and toilet bowl cleaner again. As I type I'm feeling nauseated just thinking about it! Anyway, here's the details: I ran 3.23 miles and it took me 35 minutes. My average pace was 10:44.
I'm not terribly pleased with this run for obvious reasons. I wasn't feeling good; I've got a race coming up and I like to have a better time. But all in all I'm glad I got out there despite feeling like poop.
Happy Running!
KEA
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